January 26, 2015

“Aspergers” in the media

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:15 pm by merelyquirky

More and more television programs feature characters portrayed as Asper-like. Though not officially characters with ASD, some actors do comment that they keep Aspergers traits in mind when they make their acting choices. Some characters are, in ASD circles, presumed to be on the spectrum.

My personal reaction is ambivalent. Sometimes I resent the appropriation for entertainment value, and sometimes I am so happy to feel even vaguely represented that I will even forgive that these characters are the butt of so many jokes on the shows. Then I realize how much that is real life, and I am just jealous that the characters have a stable group of friends or colleagues who accept them as they are.

As Viola Davis commented after her recent Screen Actors Guild award win:

We want to see ourselves. We want to be inspired by that. I sometimes want the fantasy, but more often than not, I want reality. I want to feel less alone when I look at TV.”

(Link to that article here.)


You Don’t Know What It’s Like

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:17 am by merelyquirky

FeministAspie’s current post is so true I am speechless.


You Don’t Know What It’s Like.

January 15, 2015

Laura Nagle: Vectors of Autism

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:14 am by merelyquirky

I shoul watch this, though just reading the post made me feel like a bit of a slacker. (Ok, I feel that way anyway since I have a menial prt time job, and my talents are not exactly resume material. I hava a BA but work at a laundromat. In high school, I was an honor student with free reign in the art room, but my most fun afternoon was spent rebuilding a shale stone wall.

My mother has often told me “all work is honorable”, but in a context and tone even I can recognize as condescending.

October 30, 2014

AStrangerInGodzone: On Making Mistakes

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:39 am by merelyquirky


The above blog post really hits home for me. My first reaction to the list was that I don’t peresverate, but actually I do now. I believe it is a result of having such difficulty fitting in with society, I have turned my own life into a sort of anthropological research project, and am constantly reviewing the “data” in my down time.

August 28, 2014

What My Bike Has Taught Me About White Privilege

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:12 pm by merelyquirky

An excellent analogy of a hard-to-hear issue.

A Little More Sauce

The phrase “white privilege” is one that rubs a lot of white people the wrong way. It can trigger something in them that shuts down conversation or at least makes them very defensive. (Especially those who grew up relatively less privileged than other folks around them). And I’ve seen more than once where this happens and the next move in the conversation is for the person who brought up white privilege to say, “The reason you’re getting defensive is because you’re feeling the discomfort of having your privilege exposed.”

I’m sure that’s true sometimes. And I’m sure there are a lot of people, white and otherwise, who can attest to a kind of a-ha moment or paradigm shift where they “got” what privilege means and they did realize they had been getting defensive because they were uncomfortable at having their privilege exposed. But I would guess that more often than…

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August 10, 2014

The unrecovered

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:53 pm by merelyquirky

Thank you. This is so accurate I am speechless.

Chavisory's Notebook

I have had a lot of reaction in the past few of days to that New York Times Magazine article concerning “The Kids Who Beat Autism.” Here’s about all I have left.

The parents, the teachers, the therapists and researchers without a clue who are celebrating “recovery” because they have, in their heads, defined autism as a fixed set of permanent inabilities—

-Are not the people doing the work of passing, and are not going to be the ones to find out first-hand just how long it isn’t actually sustainable.

-Are not the people who get told we’re too articulate to be autistic but have to ration our hours of speech per day.

-Are not the developmentally disabled women who suffer a sexual abuse rate of over 90%, no thanks to the compliance training that teaches that allowing others to control our bodies is desirable behavior.

-Are not the…

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July 12, 2014

What Do I Want?

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:32 pm by merelyquirky

Strategies 1-6 are my life. Does not work out terribly well. No focus. College was nicely structured, but things since have been one long downward slide.

Musings of an Aspie

The Scientist has proposed a 30-day experiment. He says I need to practice doing what I want to do. He says, in addition to being good for me, it will help him to get to know me better. We’ve known each other for 28 years, so this feels a little late in the game for getting to know each other better. And yet . . .

What really intrigued me about his proposal is how it might help me get to know myself better. If you’re a long time reader, you might remember that last year I wrote about how much difficulty I have figuring out what I want. I often haphazardly make minor decisions, only to find I’m unhappy with the results. Here’s an example, the one that sparked the idea for the experiment:

I tried out a new recipe for dinner last week–a light summer mix of…

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July 11, 2014

Asking for Accommodations

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:16 am by merelyquirky

My friends and my mother have been very accommodating on these issues.Actually, when I’m feeling overwhelmed my friends can actually remind me what works for me in that situation, since by that point I’m not really capable of remembering useful tactics.
But at workorextended family situations, I haven’t raised the Aspergersflag
it out.

Musings of an Aspie

Accommodations make life easier, but as Otterknot pointed out in a recent comment, asking for accommodations often sounds simpler than it is.

Why is that? Why are we so reluctant to ask for something that will improve our quality of life, our relationships or our ability to succeed at work or school?

The biggest obstacle is often disclosure. Asking for an accommodation or support means disclosing that we’re disabled. Accommodations are for disabled people, after all. For those of us who have spent a lifetime instinctively trying to pass as nondisabled, it can be hard to make the mental shift to being openly or even semi-openly disabled.

There is also the question of whether the other party will understand the nature of hidden disabilities. Unlike a visible disability, a hidden disability carries a certain burden of proof. So we hesitate, wondering whether the other person will believe that we really…

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July 6, 2014

ASD in Daily Life

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:48 am by merelyquirky


This is now running ib circkes around in my head. I’m trying tofigure out a comment beyond Wow, but the sentenxe is chasing its tail, pllaying on an infinite loop.

June 20, 2014

The Logical Fallacy of Person First Language

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:42 am by merelyquirky

My issue with person-first isn’t so much the condescending attitude but that it doesn’t really work comfortably in the English language because we put adjectives ahead of nouns as a matter of course. “The blue book” still is describing a book, not describing blueness. Another blogger recently posted about the privilege of telling another person how to describe/ introduce themselves (sorry, blanking on who, will look up later) but Labeling Theory has it’s roots in language as much as Sociology.

Musings of an Aspie

The problems with person first language have been talked about extensively in the autistic community. Many autistic people have expressed a strong, explicit preference for identity first language. And yet, we’re still treated to comments like this one (paraphrased from a comment on another blog):

I work with children with autism and I always say child with autism because they’re children first and autism doesn’t define them. Also, I say typically developing child instead of normal, because normal has negative connotations. Words are important–they reflect how you think.

My first reaction to reading that type of comment is always, “aren’t the typically developing children also children first?”

Or do we just not need to be reminded that they’re children?

If you don’t use normal because it has negative connotations, does the same logic apply to the use of autistic? Or does autistic exist in some special category of word…

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