January 15, 2015

Laura Nagle: Vectors of Autism

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:14 am by merelyquirky

I shoul watch this, though just reading the post made me feel like a bit of a slacker. (Ok, I feel that way anyway since I have a menial prt time job, and my talents are not exactly resume material. I hava a BA but work at a laundromat. In high school, I was an honor student with free reign in the art room, but my most fun afternoon was spent rebuilding a shale stone wall.

My mother has often told me “all work is honorable”, but in a context and tone even I can recognize as condescending.


October 30, 2014

AStrangerInGodzone: On Making Mistakes

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:39 am by merelyquirky


The above blog post really hits home for me. My first reaction to the list was that I don’t peresverate, but actually I do now. I believe it is a result of having such difficulty fitting in with society, I have turned my own life into a sort of anthropological research project, and am constantly reviewing the “data” in my down time.

August 28, 2014

What My Bike Has Taught Me About White Privilege

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:12 pm by merelyquirky

An excellent analogy of a hard-to-hear issue.

A Little More Sauce

The phrase “white privilege” is one that rubs a lot of white people the wrong way. It can trigger something in them that shuts down conversation or at least makes them very defensive. (Especially those who grew up relatively less privileged than other folks around them). And I’ve seen more than once where this happens and the next move in the conversation is for the person who brought up white privilege to say, “The reason you’re getting defensive is because you’re feeling the discomfort of having your privilege exposed.”

I’m sure that’s true sometimes. And I’m sure there are a lot of people, white and otherwise, who can attest to a kind of a-ha moment or paradigm shift where they “got” what privilege means and they did realize they had been getting defensive because they were uncomfortable at having their privilege exposed. But I would guess that more often than…

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August 10, 2014

The unrecovered

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:53 pm by merelyquirky

Thank you. This is so accurate I am speechless.

Chavisory's Notebook

I have had a lot of reaction in the past few of days to that New York Times Magazine article concerning “The Kids Who Beat Autism.” Here’s about all I have left.

The parents, the teachers, the therapists and researchers without a clue who are celebrating “recovery” because they have, in their heads, defined autism as a fixed set of permanent inabilities—

-Are not the people doing the work of passing, and are not going to be the ones to find out first-hand just how long it isn’t actually sustainable.

-Are not the people who get told we’re too articulate to be autistic but have to ration our hours of speech per day.

-Are not the developmentally disabled women who suffer a sexual abuse rate of over 90%, no thanks to the compliance training that teaches that allowing others to control our bodies is desirable behavior.

-Are not the…

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July 12, 2014

What Do I Want?

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:32 pm by merelyquirky

Strategies 1-6 are my life. Does not work out terribly well. No focus. College was nicely structured, but things since have been one long downward slide.

Musings of an Aspie

The Scientist has proposed a 30-day experiment. He says I need to practice doing what I want to do. He says, in addition to being good for me, it will help him to get to know me better. We’ve known each other for 28 years, so this feels a little late in the game for getting to know each other better. And yet . . .

What really intrigued me about his proposal is how it might help me get to know myself better. If you’re a long time reader, you might remember that last year I wrote about how much difficulty I have figuring out what I want. I often haphazardly make minor decisions, only to find I’m unhappy with the results. Here’s an example, the one that sparked the idea for the experiment:

I tried out a new recipe for dinner last week–a light summer mix of…

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July 11, 2014

Asking for Accommodations

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:16 am by merelyquirky

My friends and my mother have been very accommodating on these issues.Actually, when I’m feeling overwhelmed my friends can actually remind me what works for me in that situation, since by that point I’m not really capable of remembering useful tactics.
But at workorextended family situations, I haven’t raised the Aspergersflag
it out.

Musings of an Aspie

Accommodations make life easier, but as Otterknot pointed out in a recent comment, asking for accommodations often sounds simpler than it is.

Why is that? Why are we so reluctant to ask for something that will improve our quality of life, our relationships or our ability to succeed at work or school?

The biggest obstacle is often disclosure. Asking for an accommodation or support means disclosing that we’re disabled. Accommodations are for disabled people, after all. For those of us who have spent a lifetime instinctively trying to pass as nondisabled, it can be hard to make the mental shift to being openly or even semi-openly disabled.

There is also the question of whether the other party will understand the nature of hidden disabilities. Unlike a visible disability, a hidden disability carries a certain burden of proof. So we hesitate, wondering whether the other person will believe that we really…

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July 6, 2014

ASD in Daily Life

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:48 am by merelyquirky


This is now running ib circkes around in my head. I’m trying tofigure out a comment beyond Wow, but the sentenxe is chasing its tail, pllaying on an infinite loop.

June 20, 2014

The Logical Fallacy of Person First Language

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:42 am by merelyquirky

My issue with person-first isn’t so much the condescending attitude but that it doesn’t really work comfortably in the English language because we put adjectives ahead of nouns as a matter of course. “The blue book” still is describing a book, not describing blueness. Another blogger recently posted about the privilege of telling another person how to describe/ introduce themselves (sorry, blanking on who, will look up later) but Labeling Theory has it’s roots in language as much as Sociology.

Musings of an Aspie

The problems with person first language have been talked about extensively in the autistic community. Many autistic people have expressed a strong, explicit preference for identity first language. And yet, we’re still treated to comments like this one (paraphrased from a comment on another blog):

I work with children with autism and I always say child with autism because they’re children first and autism doesn’t define them. Also, I say typically developing child instead of normal, because normal has negative connotations. Words are important–they reflect how you think.

My first reaction to reading that type of comment is always, “aren’t the typically developing children also children first?”

Or do we just not need to be reminded that they’re children?

If you don’t use normal because it has negative connotations, does the same logic apply to the use of autistic? Or does autistic exist in some special category of word…

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May 30, 2014

It’s not a sin to be awkward.

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:06 am by merelyquirky

Wow, so well said. I’ve been in that situaion so many times , where I wanted to say something but didn’t. I have no trouble standing up for other folks– then the most effective (scathing) words just flow out in complete paragraphs.

But when I’m the one being put callously dismissed? Then suddenly I’m not sure of the correct/acceptable/ useful thing to say on my own behalf, I freeze up. Deer in headlights, at most I might stammer something polite that allows for my hasty escape. And I feel like a coward, and rehashing it in my mind later just cements that feeling in my mind.

Chavisory's Notebook

I’m was in the office at work with my boss and a coworker, and I do not even remember how the topic of conversation has turned to public schooling vs. homeschooling.  But it has.  My coworker starts in on an anecdote, and I have a bad, bad feeling about where this is going.

“We had a homeschooled girl in my high school chemistry class.  She was like 12.  She was just so far ahead.”

(Maybe not.  Sharp intake of breath.  Slightly too-long pause.)

“But she was so awkward.  And it made the whole class awkward, and it was just awkward to have her there.”

And here we are.  At the moment in which, prior to this, I had actually thought that my acceptance in this place, to these people, wasn’t based on me passing myself off as the right kind of person instead of the wrong kind.

The awkward kind.

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April 30, 2014


Posted in Uncategorized at 10:27 am by merelyquirky

People who are angry already are not angry because you wrote something. They are just angry. You can write about whatever you like on your blog– it’s not a news article or a scholarly journal. It’s a casual expression of what you were thinking about.

I’m sorry they all got carried away. I’m glad that you can step back to take care of yourself. And I do hope that once the metaphoric burns heal you will return to your blog. Hot topic or not, this ought to be a safe place for the blogger.

Aspergers and Me

My latest post has generated an incredible amount of vitriol, much of it seeming to accuse me of saying things I never intended nor wanted to say. It is officially more than I can deal with. I thought about addressing some of the comments – to try to clarify what I had intended to say vs. what it seemed people think I am saying, but I honestly believe the effort would be futile.

Regardless, this has taken a significant toll on me and I think that I will be closing up shop for at least a few weeks. I plan to be back eventually, but right now this is very much a dangerous place for me.

I’m not really sure what happened here, but apparently people who do not value civility hate me.

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