May 30, 2014

It’s not a sin to be awkward.

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:06 am by merelyquirky

Wow, so well said. I’ve been in that situaion so many times , where I wanted to say something but didn’t. I have no trouble standing up for other folks– then the most effective (scathing) words just flow out in complete paragraphs.

But when I’m the one being put callously dismissed? Then suddenly I’m not sure of the correct/acceptable/ useful thing to say on my own behalf, I freeze up. Deer in headlights, at most I might stammer something polite that allows for my hasty escape. And I feel like a coward, and rehashing it in my mind later just cements that feeling in my mind.

Chavisory's Notebook

I’m was in the office at work with my boss and a coworker, and I do not even remember how the topic of conversation has turned to public schooling vs. homeschooling.  But it has.  My coworker starts in on an anecdote, and I have a bad, bad feeling about where this is going.

“We had a homeschooled girl in my high school chemistry class.  She was like 12.  She was just so far ahead.”

(Maybe not.  Sharp intake of breath.  Slightly too-long pause.)

“But she was so awkward.  And it made the whole class awkward, and it was just awkward to have her there.”

And here we are.  At the moment in which, prior to this, I had actually thought that my acceptance in this place, to these people, wasn’t based on me passing myself off as the right kind of person instead of the wrong kind.

The awkward kind.

View original post 669 more words

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